One Focus. One Step. Real Freedom.

What would happen if you let go of all the shame that holds you down?

“Brother, there’s no amount of shame that can rewrite your story—only ownership and truth can do that.”

Shame is the invisible anchor most men drag through life. Not because we’re afraid of accountability—but because somewhere along the way, we started believing our worth is defined by our worst moments, always reminding us how far we may be from that ideal image in our heads.

The truth? Shame isn’t accountability—it’s self-condemnation dressed up as “responsibility.” It keeps us locked in the past, judging ourselves by old failures and quiet regrets. It whispers that who we are isn’t enough, that what we did can’t be redeemed.

But here’s the real: Letting go of shame doesn’t make you less of a man. It makes you free.

Freedom isn’t found by hiding from your past. It’s found by owning it—then choosing to release the weight, so you can move forward as the man God created you to be.

Take the past and learn what you can from it, but the longer you let it define your self-image, the less strength you’ll have to be your true self. You can’t be present today if you’re still living in yesterday—whether it was a year ago or a decade ago, it doesn’t matter. Growth will always be limited until you let go of that weight.

You may not like what happened in the past, but you are not the same man you were. You have greater understanding, greater knowledge, more wisdom. Now, it’s time to give yourself inner freedom by letting go of the shackles.

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

— Carl Jung

This week, I caught myself hesitating to speak out loud on a voice note using my earbuds while walking through my neighborhood. I felt that familiar tension—wondering what people would think, worrying about looking “crazy,” wanting to keep my thoughts to myself. And honestly, brother, that feeling? It was just another form of shame. Shame doesn’t always show up loud; sometimes it whispers, “Keep it together. Don’t be seen struggling. Don’t be seen at all.” Or maybe it’s just the thought that you have to keep a certain image up in order not to let others down.

But as I kept walking, I started noticing something deeper. So much of my life, I’ve tried to maintain my image—tried to be the “nice guy,” the good father, the man who can handle it all. I realized that wasn’t always driven by kindness or strength… sometimes, it was shame running the show.

I saw how, in one of the darkest seasons of my life, I put up with things I shouldn’t have—not because I was generous, but because I was ashamed. Ashamed of failing, ashamed of not being the man I thought I should be, ashamed to admit that I felt broken.

What’s wild is, the more honest I am about that shame, the lighter I feel. I’m learning that naming the shame doesn’t make it more real—it actually makes it lose its power. Every time I admit where I’m struggling or let go of the pressure to look perfect, I feel myself getting stronger. More present. More at peace with who I am right now. I can stop the judgment of not being where I thought I “should be,” and embrace where I am now with power—and pivot if I need to. Knowing that every step of it is part of my journey.

I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out. But this week, I gave myself permission to just be real. To walk, to talk, to admit what’s actually going on inside—and to stop judging myself for not being the “ideal” man I had in my head. That’s freedom I haven’t felt in a long time.

But brother, this isn’t a one-and-done fix. It’s a daily practice—a constant checking in with yourself: Am I being pulled forward by freedom, or pushed around by regret and shame?

This week, I let go of the need to be everything for everyone. Instead of trying to juggle a thousand things, I just focused on being present—whether that meant playing softball with my girls, practicing a few swings on the golf course, or simply walking and letting my mind settle.

What I realized is this: Being a man isn’t about being perfect, or even having all the answers. It’s about showing up, as you are, where you are. It’s about giving yourself—and the people you love—the gift of your attention and presence, instead of some polished, impossible ideal.

I’ve been guilty of having too many goals, too many things to learn, too many things to focus on. I was trying to do everything to close the gap between where I am and who I thought I needed to be. Too many men I know (myself included) think that being a great man, leader, or father means never missing a step, never dropping the ball. But that’s just another kind of pressure that keeps us stuck and separated—from ourselves, from our families, from each other.

Real strength is built in the moments when you admit you’re human, but still choose to show up anyway. You don’t have to master every area of life all at once. Just start where you are. Lead by example, not by image. That’s where real connection starts—and where the walls come down between brothers.

So here’s what I’m doing: I looked at every area of my life—fitness, nutrition, spiritual growth, leadership, creativity—and I’m choosing just one or two things as my North Star for this month. Everything else is a bonus. Too many focuses only lead to a scattered mind and spirit, and produce little results—making us feel even more stuck.

Brother, this week I want you to get brutally honest with yourself:

Where have you been trying to do it all—chasing too many goals, or carrying shame for not measuring up?

Your challenge:

Pick one area of your life that matters most right now. Just one.

Name it.

Then give it your full attention—whether it’s being present with your family, building your body, deepening your faith, or simply taking time to breathe and be real.

Let go of the pressure to juggle everything. Let go of the shame about what you haven’t done or where you’ve “fallen short.”

Focus on showing up powerfully, just in that one place, for seven days.

That’s it.

And if you slip, don’t waste a second in self-judgment. Get back up, recommit, and keep moving forward.

Freedom and progress don’t come from doing more—they come from being real and staying present, right where you are.